Actual statements made by drivers involved in accidents on their motor insurance claim forms ...

Coming home I drove into the wrong drive and collided with a tree I don't have.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
The guy was all over the road.
I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother in law's face and headed over the embankment.
In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telegraph pole.
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the car.
I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no `Stop' sign had ever appeared before.
I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
My car was legally parked as I backed into the other vehicle.
An invisible car came from nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull.
I pulled into the lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realised the car was on fire so I took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.
I had one eye on a parked car, another on approaching lorries and another on the woman behind.
We were enjoying a quiet drive along a country lane. There were high hedges on both sides, suddenly a large horse landed on the roof of the car. Please find enclosed repairs estimate for damage.
The insured failed to observe the end of the pier and careered off into the Irish Sea.
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
I was going down the car park ramp when I hit a giant plastic mouse.
The car had to turn more sharply than was necessary, owing to an invisible lorry.
I knocked over a man. He admitted it was his fault, as he had been run over before.
I was sure that the old chap would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
The front van Toyota reversed me.
I horned her but the driver did not response it.
I was thrown from my car as it left the road.
I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run so I ran over him.