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Bumper Stickers

Horn broken; watch for finger.
Help wanted: telepath - you know where to apply.
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
Out of my mind - back in 5 minutes.
Keep honking; I'm reloading.
Friends don't let friends drive naked.
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy, Other times I let her sleep.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
i souport publik edekasion
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles
There are 2 great secrets to success in life. The first is to not tell everything you know.